Everyone wants to feel validated and everyone has feelings. The hard part is being there for someone when they need you the most. This is certainly true if you're in a relationship.
Let's first discuss what validating someone's feelings means. It involves recognizing someone's feelings and acknowledging them as important.
In any healthy relationship, it's important to validate someone's feelings. So, now the question is, how do I successfully validate my partner's feelings?
If this question has crossed your mind then you've come to the right place. We here at Official make sure you feel validated, and we're ready to answer your question…
Five tips to help you validate your partner
1. You've Got To Listen
First and foremost, if your loved one comes home from work and is having a bad day, listen to their story.
When I say listen, I don't mean just nod along as you think about your favorite TV show. No, actually listen to their story, truly understand their day.
To truly understand their situation, you need to walk in their shoes… mentally at least.
2. Verbal Validation
If your partner is telling you about their day, listen to them, yes, but you should also show them verbally that you're listening.
Like I said before, don't just make noise acting like you're listening. No, really listen to your partner, and say things like “okay”, “uh-huh”, and “I see”. Also, be engaged in their story, ask follow-up questions that show you care.
3. Body Language
If you're doing something when your partner starts to tell their story, stop and listen.
For example, if you're on your phone playing the latest fruit game, put your phone down, turn toward your loved one, and give them all your attention.
This will show your partner that you're listening and that you care about their situation.
4. Don't Just Agree
That's right. Listen to your partner, acknowledge them, but that doesn't mean you have to agree with them.
For example, let's just say your loved one got into an argument with a coworker because they tried to boss the coworker around and got told off.
Your loved one may not be the actual boss in this situation, but their strong personality makes them want to take charge of certain situations. They were upset that their coworker got smart with them, but if you think that they may have some personal reflection to do on their own actions, tell them that.
By doing this, you might help your partner understand where they went wrong with their coworker.
A healthy relationship involves each partner bringing out the best in the other. Help your partner be the best version of themselves by not always mirroring their reaction to a situation.
5. Give Advice
If your partner is going through some sort of problem, it's natural to want to protect them, but sometimes offering them some hearty advice is the key.
Talk to them about their problem or situation and give them advice that can help them see their situation more clearly.
But know this. You should validate your partner before giving any advice. This is according to research done by the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
By validating your partner first it helps them open up to your advice. If you jump right into giving advice, this could push your partner back a bit. You want to show them you’re on their side.
So, listen first, validate their feelings about the situation, then offer them some meaningful advice.
Remember, most of the time, all your partner wants is to talk it out and once you give them some advice, usually they'll feel better.
Research shows that interaction with your partner in the above ways can help your partner feel less upset and less vulnerable. Isn't that what we all want in a relationship? To feel validated?
So go ahead, bold reader! Follow these steps and take your relationship to the next level. Then you'll become… Official.